Red

“I haven’t killed anyone in years,” says one of the heroes of Red. “That’s sad,” says another in response, and he means it. If you can laugh at this line, which I assume was meant to be funny, then you can probably enjoy watching Red.

Walter, you said this film was not worth writing about. You’re probably right, so I will keep it short. Red pokes fun at the spy business by poking fun at a group of retired spies, led by Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Brian Cox, Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren. That’s a pretty good collection of actors and Mary-Louise Parker and Rebecca Pidgeon round out the impressive cast. Watching them have fun with Red is why I enjoyed the film.

There’s not much else to enjoy. The plot is full of holes, the nonstop gunfire is downright offensive (tolerable only if you assume, once again, that this is deliberately satirizing the spy business), and the ending is pitiful.

Nevertheless, Red was nice to look at and it was fun to watch the actors having fun (I thought Malkovich was better here than in Secretariat and I always enjoy Brian Cox). So I’ll be generous once again and give Red ***. My mug is up but on the verge of tipping.