It Follows

I’ve said it before but apparently it bears repeating: I do not like horror films. A little louder this time: I do NOT like horror films. Sure there are exceptions (e.g. I enjoy some sci-fi horror and many classic horror films), but generally I stay away. 

Okay, then. Despite knowing this fact, at least three people (fortunately for them, I forget who) told me I absolutely needed to see It Follows, this year’s super-scary indie horror classic. 

So when the opportunity presented itself, I decided to take it.

Question: How do you NOT watch a super-scary horror film?

Answer: You wait until you’re alone in the house after dark and then go watch it in your black basement.

Question: So how did I watch It Follows?

Answer: Duh!

I suppose there must be a lot of people who love sitting alone in the dark with goosebumps running up their arms and legs as they watch a super-scary horror flick. I am not one of those people. 

Not to say that there aren’t a number of things I appreciate about David Robert Mitchell’s It Follows. It has a nice indie feel, the cinematography is exceptional, the score is perfect (if you like loud super-scary music), much of the acting by the young (college-age) cast is quite believable and there are some interesting quirks to the screenplay, like the almost complete absence of ‘adults’, as if we’re watching a Peanuts film. I dare say there might even be some insightful allegorical allusions here, but the people who would identify them for me would never watch this. Oh, and did I mention that it’s scary (as promised)?

Now that I’ve read a couple of reviews (sometimes it really does pay to read reviews BEFORE you watch a film, though I almost never do), I notice a repeated theme, represented by quotes like: “A horror film that will haunt your waking hours for weeks” and “It’s impossible adequately to describe the haunting intensity of It Follows,” not to mention the common use of the words “dread” and “creepy.” Yes, that’s all true. But why would I want to watch an intense creepy film filled with dread that will haunt me for weeks? Why would anyone? Sigh. 

I’m going to give It Follows a solid *** for being well-made and scary, which is generous because this is one three-star film I will never watch again. Hey, didn’t I leave my mug right there? Is there somebody following me?